By Yardena Goldman, Layout Editor and Social Media Manager
For as long as anyone can remember, Yeshiva University has always had its typical in-towners. They are the ones bringing their suitcase to the lobby every Thursday morning and heading home the second class is over, only to return Monday morning, ready to do it all over again three days later. They are the type of people who would never dream of staying in for Shabbos.
I have nothing against the typical in-towners, I just don’t want to be one. I enjoy being on campus and getting involved in student life. However, since I grew up in New Jersey, most of my friends are in-towners. They struggle to understand why I choose to spend many of my weekends in the dorms. Many people are shocked when they hear that I’m from New Jersey, as I don’t seem like a typical “in-towner.” When I meet new people on Shabbos, and they learn where I’m from, their first question is, “Why don’t you want to go home? ”or “Why are you here?”
Don’t get me wrong, I love my family more than anything and value spending time with them. However, I don’t feel the need to spend every single Shabbos with them; once or twice a month is plenty. I feel that it’s important to have a real college experience, and that experience is lost when you are going home for the weekend every Thursday. A big part of the college experience is living without your parents and learning independence. How can you possibly learn independence if you are sleeping at home four days of the week?
I have accepted that understanding the mentality of typical in-towners is something I’ll never be able to do. I struggle to see why many even bother spending the money to dorm at all. If you are gone for more than half the week, paying for housing seems like a waste of money.
I enjoy going outside of my comfort zone and meeting new people, and Shabbos is also an amazing time for me to hang out with friends that I don’t see much during the week. I value spending this time every Shabbos catching up with different people and having new experiences. Shabbos in Stern College for Women is really enjoyable, and honestly, very underrated. I wish more in-towners would simply give it a try.
Another typical in-towner stereotype is that you have to bring your laundry home every week and have someone else do it. People are often surprised that I do my laundry in the dorms. However, I feel that I am 20 years old and perfectly capable of washing my own clothes. I also simply can’t justify dragging a heavy suitcase full of clothing and bedding through Penn Station, just to avoid doing my own laundry. I truly believe that it’s a simple task that every college student is capable of doing.
There are also the in-towners who have empty closets and live off of the few pieces of clothing in their suitcase, but I keep a full wardrobe of clothing in my dorm. My closet and drawers are filled to the absolute max. I am truly moved in and treat Stern as my home. Sure, I also have a home an hour train ride away, but that doesn’t mean that YU can’t feel like home as well.
Over my time in Stern, I have found that many intowners have no interest in attending any YU programming or events. This is something I simply can’t understand. YU offers some incredible programming, and it’s such a missed opportunity not to make the most of it. We are all paying an insane amount of money to attend this university. It’s important that we take advantage of all the opportunities that YU has to offer. Whether you realize it or not, most of our tuition is going to sponsor these events. My feeling is that we are paying for it already, so we might as well enjoy it.
Many of these YU events have been highlights of my time in Stern. For instance, the Purim chagigah last semester was truly an unforgettable night. The whole room was vibrating with excitement and ruach (spirit). Most of my friends came with me, including a few of my “typical in-town” friends whom I managed to convince to join me. I never understand why so many in-towners choose to spend Purim at home, instead of celebrating at an awesome chagigah with so many of their friends.
Being involved in extracurricular activities, something I feel many in-towners aren’t committed to, has also enhanced my college experience significantly. Getting involved in student organizations is a great way to make new friends as well. Many of the friends that I made in Stern came into my life through extracurriculars.
Making the decision not to be a “typical in-towner” has shaped my entire Stern experience. It has pushed me to learn independence, put myself out there, and say “yes” to new opportunities. Staying in on the weekends allowed me to cross paths with people I never would have met otherwise. I may technically be an “intowner,” but I have created a life here that looks nothing like the stereotype. By choosing Stern over the comfort of my home, I have built friendships and memories that will last a lifetime.
Photo Credit: Courtesy of Yardena Goldman