By Betty Khirman
I often catch myself staring at blank walls thinking and reminiscing about the twist and turns that brought me here –– to Yeshiva University, to New York, to a campus and community I never imagined being a part of. Most people pick a major, choose a university and envision a life unfolding from these choices. I was no different. I imagined my life would follow a certain path and worked hard to achieve the goals I set for myself. I pushed myself in school so I could get into the college of my dreams–a University of California along the coastline, known for its academic prestige, spirited football games, and sororities.
If you would have told me in high school that I would be going to a university in New York, I would’ve laughed. If you had added that it was an all-women’s campus, I would have laughed harder. If you had added that I was going to attend a Jewish university, I’d be hysterical.
And yet, here I am. At the time, YU was so far removed from the plan I had envisioned that I didn’t consider it for a moment. If my life’s trajectory has taught me–– and maybe many of us –– anything, it’s that people plan and Hashem laughs.We can set goals, imagine, plan and work hard, but sometimes Hashem steps in and tells us those goals are not what’s best for us.
During my year in Israel, I remember everyone saying, “Dean Shoshana Shechter is coming to speak about Stern College for Women, you have to go.” Instead, I went to Katsefet (a popular ice cream chain in Israel). I laughed. But a few months later, I found myself opening up my laptop and submitting an application to Stern. I started exploring the idea more seriously and speaking to alumni, and what I heard from them stuck with me. They each spoke glowingly about the values, community, mentors, classes and people. One by one, they described exactly what I didn’t know I was searching for. Each student mentioned different aspects that made Stern not just a university but a community.
Still, it wasn’t an easy decision, and the transition was not easy either. At YU, many students come in with their seminary, camp or lifelong friends, which can be hard for someone not coming in as a part of those groups. I kept to the few people I knew.
But I soon realized that it doesn’t matter who knew each other coming in. It was up to me to make this place my community. Was I scared? Absolutely. But once I went outside of my comfort zone, I met new people. Sometimes I was terrified. Sometimes I got lost. I met some of my best friends because of that. Those moments made Beren my community, and today I am honored to serve as the Beren Campus Student Government President.
My message to our YU community is this: even if you are unsure how you ended up at Yeshiva University, or still feel like it’s an unexpected detour in your life plan, you’re not alone. But, more importantly, we each can make this place our home. It takes courage to try something new. You will need to go outside your comfort zone. But it will be worth it.
And even if YU was always part of your plan, don’t let that stop you from forming new connections and having new experiences. Go to events and shiurim that your friends are not attending. Introduce yourself to someone new. Step into unfamiliar spaces. Get involved. Be curious. Be open. Every day we get the opportunity to learn from one another –– students with entirely different backgrounds sitting side by side. One may have been immersed in Torah learning their entire life, while the person next to them is just discovering the Aleph-Bet for the first time. That’s the beauty of this place. No matter how you got here, welcome to the YU community.
This year, Beren Campus Student Government is embracing the motto:“anachnu echad” – “We are one.” Our Beren campus is one community. You matter. You belong. To best represent the Beren campus, we want to hear from you. Your feedback, your ideas and your voice truly matter. Whether it’s a new event you would like to see, an issue you want to address or a small change to make our community better, please reach out to us. You can make a difference, and we are so lucky to have you as part of our community.
Photo Credit: Betty Khirman