By Emily Goldberg, Editor-in-Chief
It was at this year’s club fair. I was standing at my table by myself as the room finished clearing out, the night almost over. I was debating whether I should pack up my things and leave for the evening, when a student came over to the table. As he approached, I said hello. What followed was an uncomfortable conversation, but unfortunately one I am all too familiar with.
He asked me what my club was and I told him it was the student newspaper, the YU Observer. He began to act like he did not know what I was talking about before reversing course and throwing aggressively negative comments about the paper at me. I understood what was going on, and tried to steer the discussion in a different direction until I bluntly asked him what the point of the conversation was. He gave me no answer of substance.
If I wanted to count on my fingers the number of times I have received negative comments about the YU Observer to my face, I would need way more than just two hands. I have been told numerous times, by both students and administration, that the YU Observer is, to put it nicely, doing a bad job, that the grammar is terrible, and at one point, that the newspaper “sucks.” That was early on in my time on campus. I was a layout editor.
Journalism is my greatest passion in life, but I knew that when I decided to make it a career, it was not going to be the dream I had made it out to be. While the implementation of constructive feedback is a crucial part of journalism, one that I value immensely, I have quickly learned that at Yeshiva University, being a journalist comes with an unprecedented amount of judgment and torment from others.
As crushing as it is to receive mean comments even from anonymous users online, it’s completely different when you are told the exact same insults by the people who are supposed to be your peers, classmates and friends.
When comments like these start coming from your own community, from the people who are meant to support you, it hurts ten times more. It is incidents like these that I have cried over for hours at night, the hardship sometimes almost too hard to bear. It is remarks like these that have depressed me for days on end, that have made me lose all motivation to write. When I let the vitriolic comments get to me, they weigh on me heavily. They are the only thing that has made me question my decision to be a part of the newspaper.
I know the editor-in-chief of the YU Observer is not supposed to write things like that, but I write this precisely for that reason. It has been difficult and draining for me to brush the negative comments off, and I think it is important for people to understand this aspect of being a student leader; like everyone else, I am not perfect and I am also human. Making comments like this can truly affect a person, especially if you are commenting on something that they pour countless hours into and that means the world to them. Our words matter, and maybe we should start paying more attention to them.
The idea for this article did not dawn on me yesterday; this file was created on May 19, 2024. I have been wanting to write this for over a year now, but have hesitated ever since the thought crossed my mind, for obvious reasons. I am petrified of how people will receive it. At the same time, with my college years at YU coming to a close, I did not want this topic to be one of those articles I thought about writing but never pursued. Because I cannot deny that this has been my experience. And it should not have been.
I’m sure you have caught on to a particular theme throughout my articles over these years, and it is that the YU community needs to start showing more sense of community. This year especially, I have been having an extremely hard time at this university, and I undoubtedly think that this is the root of the problem.
Here at YU, we are meant to be lifting each other up, not tearing each other down. Yet, all too often, in so many different aspects of our university, this is simply not the case. I don’t have all the answers, and I know this problem is not going to be solved with the snap of our fingers. But to forgo bringing awareness to the issue and striving to come up with a solution is not an option, even if it means stepping outside our comfort zones and taking risks. That is why I ultimately decided to write this article.
Anything that is going to be meaningful in life is going to be difficult, and as difficult as it has been for me to be on the YU Observer, it is also one of the most meaningful things I have ever done in my entire life. I have already started writing my final editorial for the year, and every time I open that document I begin to cry tears of joyful sorrow over the thought of writing those last few words.
The other day, I told my friend, “I cannot remember a life without the YU Observer. How am I going to be a person without this paper?” It is in moments like this when I remember all of the good, all of the laughter, all of the friendships and all of the memories that have come out of being a part of this paper. And those are things I would not want to imagine living a life without.
I am forever grateful for the immense privilege of being a part of the YU Observer staff. More than I can ever truly say and more than anyone will ever know. Working alongside my friends on such an important paper has been one of the most formative, special experiences of my entire life. I would not be the person I am today without the YU Observer, and I would not have found what truly brings me meaning without it.
I have gotten the immense opportunity to hear the unique stories of the students of YU and feel honored that I get to be a part of sharing them with others. The majority of YU students have been extremely encouraging of the work the YU Observer has done throughout my time on this team, and the supportive comments I receive mean the world to me. More than the person giving them will ever truly know.
So for those of you who have gone out of your way to do so, words cannot begin to express how much you have given me strength. All I can begin to say is thank you.
And P.S. To those of you who still question the quality of the YU Observer; I don’t need to defend it. It speaks for itself.