By Hadar Katsman, Staff Writer
Dear Undecided,
I am close to memorizing the list of requirements on all of Stern’s major/minor-factsheet pages, mentally crossing out the majors that hold no interest to me each time I review the list. With every scroll, more questions plague my mind, similar to ones probably running through yours: What if I make a horrible decision? What will provide me with a good parnasa (livelihood) to raise a big family? Am I passionate about what I want to do? Everyone else probably thinks we’re overreacting. And perhaps we are, but for good reason. We are deciding our careers after all.
I grew up, as I assume many do, with the belief that the more hobbies and interests one has, the better. However, four months as an undecided major changed my mind in an instant. Every class I took inspired me and brought out an excitement for learning new things, no matter how difficult the subject. From English composition to computer science, my interests were sprawled out on a table, just like those fact sheets. I felt like I was at the beginning of one of those “choose your path” interactive books and had no idea which way to go.
In one of my many meetings with Academic Advising, I took a career-interest test hoping it would narrow down my possible career paths. While I did notice a correlation between my many interests and the different jobs the test results suggested for me (one being a food service manager, which I really don’t know how to feel about), I was left feeling even more conflicted.
And why is that? Because unless I want to stay at Stern for the next ten years of my life and major and minor in everything they offer (and unless I can somehow marry a billionaire to cover all my debt), I am stuck between so many options for how my future could play out.
My struggle mainly laid in this one question: How could I possibly pick a major and leave out every other possible career?
But dear Undecided, I want you to ask yourself: What does it really mean to pursue a major? By picking one, are you automatically cut off from the rest of the world?
Thinking back to conversations I’ve had with other YU students, people taught me that college is a time to explore your interests and what drives you. To be fair, you will have to pick a major eventually. But for now, take advantage of those gen-ed requirements and invest time into clubs that speak to you. You are not limiting yourself to careers only in your field. Choose a degree that you love because you have no idea where life will take you. You should not limit yourself.
It took me months to internalize that deciding to major in one thing absolutely does not mean you can never achieve something in another area of study. My life does not have to be centered around my job and not everything I do or aspire to do has to be connected to it either.
I finally declared my major, and here it is, in all its glory, after months of indecision: English media studies with a concentration in journalism.
Writing for the YU Observer continues to be an amazing outlet for me. I love interviewing people, I love writing, I love becoming more knowledgeable about the world around me. And if for some reason I forego my decision to be an English major, I know without a doubt that I will continue to write for the Observer because turning my life down another path does not mean I need to throw my love for journalism away.
However, I have also learned that the opposite of all this is true: being interested in something does not necessarily mean you can or should make it your career.
In my first semester, I took Introduction to Computer Science, which I was strongly considering majoring in. I can’t count how many times I’ve heard people tell me, “Hadar, you’re not good at it and you don’t love it, so why would you major in it?” Yet, I thought if I worked even harder than I already was (which, believe me, was a lot), maybe I could improve just enough to be willing to major in it. And while I did not love computer science, I still enjoyed it (at times), and that was what frustrated me so much.
Why was there this in between? I can handle black and white, all or nothing. But when it comes to liking but not loving, or disliking but not hating, where do I draw the line and tell myself, “That’s enough! Make your decision already.”
I had originally registered for Data Structures this semester since I was still considering computer science. I didn’t hate it, not at all. But I didn’t love it. My eyes never lit up when I walked into that classroom, not as they did when I took English composition my first semester, and not as they do when I go to my NYC architecture art history class (even though it’s on a Friday). I dropped Data Structures soon after the semester began.
Sometimes, one’s interests aren’t meant to become their career.
It’s crazy how one sentence can summarize an entire semester’s worth of indecision and exhaustion.
You may be familiar with this already but I want to warn you that when you tell someone you’re undecided, many look at you like a lost puppy and try to give advice. In all honesty, it makes the decision more complex because everyone gives different advice and it takes away the decision-making process from yourself. Please, take the time to discover what you love. Don’t settle for anything less because liking something isn’t the same as loving it.
I wish you so much hatzlacha and shalom in your decision.
Photo Caption: The Stern English major fact sheet
Photo Credit: Dalya Eichler / the YU Observer