By Regina Mezistrano, Social Media Manager
In memory of Elan Aryeh Ben Avraham Feivel.
Last Spring semester, specifically February 27, 2023, at 1:23 PM as I sat in class, a slew of notifications appeared from a chat called “News For the Jews.” My curiosity got the best of me and I clicked on the messages.
It read: MORE TERROR: Another shooting has taken place, this time near Jericho, with a 25-year-old Israeli man being critically injured. I read, swiped, and pressed on other texts, unphased.
3:02 pm: UPDATE: We are sad to report that the man who was heavily wounded in the Jericho shooting has died, and that he is an American. I thought of my older brother, cousins, and friends that live in Israel, but the thought never actualized into real worry. I am mortified to admit, but again, I had zero reaction.
Fast forward 4 hours: My mom calls me and says, are you sitting… is a friend near you… can you go find a friend… Then she uttered the words, Elan Ganeles was shot and killed in Israel. My mind and body overflowed with disbelief, sadness, anger, and pain. Within a few minutes, I experienced all the stages of grief. My life halted for months. Months were spent crying. Months of staring blankly at the wall. Months of sleepless nights. Months passed on, but I was stuck living the same day perpetually.
Before October 7, 2023, it was almost unheard of to know someone, or know someone who knew someone, who was killed in a terrorist attack. October 7, 2023, began for me about 8 months prior. I, and all those who knew Elan, were living a nightmare that thankfully not many had gone through. But now the unimaginable has become normality.
It is frightening how news that doesn’t pertain to us can go in one ear and out the other, leaving us unfazed. Maybe it is a defense mechanism? Who can really internalize and feel all of life’s calamities? It is so easy to pretend that the war in Israel is something distant or non-concerning to our lives. But since February 27, I realized it doesn’t matter if we don’t know the victims personally, it is personal. It is an attack on our home. It is an attack targeted at a fellow Jew. It is an attack against a human being. But what is the balance of letting life’s horrors sink in when something doesn’t personally affect us? I don’t believe there is a simple answer. But what sets humans apart from other animals is the complexity of our emotions. We can sympathize with others even when what they are dealing with is unfamiliar to us.
It is a few days shy of a year since Elan passed away. 365 days without Elan Ganeles. It hits me at random times that Elan is gone. Other days I am convinced he went to Israel on vacation and will be back soon. The difficulty is finding a balance between moving forward, but not forgetting the past. The first 6 months after Elan passed, I flinched at the thought or mention of his name. I had let his sudden departure cloud the amazing life he lived. Elan was fun, smart, caring, and full of life like no one I had met before. He was truly one of a kind.
May Elan and those whom we personally and collectively lost since October 7, memories be a blessing for all who knew and loved them.