On the first Monday in February, students and teachers passing through the entrance of 245 Lexington Avenue stopped to remember. On a small table rested a burning candle and photos of a fellow student and friend that most describe as “radiant.”
Saturday, January 31 marks the devastating and untimely loss of Stern College senior, Julia Packer. Julia’s passing has left the students of Yeshiva University bereaved and with an utter sense of despair. To some she was a classmate, to others a best friend. But one thing goes without saying: she touched the lives of everyone whom she met.
Sunday morning, an email baring the subject line of “Baruch Dayan Emet” was sent to the entire student body and faculty. After receiving the jarring news, students grappled to comprehend the tragedy.
Adopted from Russia at the age of six by Dr. Marvin and Judy Packer, Julia was raised in Newton, Massachusetts. She attended Maimonides School from elementary school through high school and graduated in 2011, after which she attended seminary in Israel at Midreshet Emunah V’Omanut. Once she arrived at Stern College, Julia began pursuing a Studio Art major. She played on the Stern College Varsity volleyball team for one year; took several classes at the Fashion Institute of Technology, and enjoyed a successful job at the fashion brand, INTERMIX. She is survived by her parents and five siblings; Sam, Jonathan, Tamara, Lyuda, and Uri.
Immediately following the devastating email, classmate Dasha Sominski (‘15) organized a gathering in the back lounge of the Schottenstein dormitory Sunday evening which was attended by approximately thirty students. Even Dr. Yael Muskat, director of the Stern Counseling Center, made an appearance. In her public Facebook invite, Sominski wrote, “Let’s not be alone tonight.” Students shared their fond memories of Julia and offered each other support for how to deal with the tragic loss of a loved one.
The Counseling Center organized many opportunities for students to seek help coping with Julia’s passing. It opened its doors on Sunday for walk-in hours so that students could speak to various professionals in the immediate aftermath of the tragedy. The following Wednesday, Dr. David Pelcovitz and Dr. Sara Asher led a group conversation in the back lounge of the Schottenstein dormitory. Counseling Center professionals also offered a drop-in process group throughout the week.
As an art major, Julia formed close relationships with her professors and peers. As an integral part of her life, she spent long hours in the studios of Stern College perfecting her art works. Professor of painting, Mary Creede, reflects upon the her experiences with Julia in the studio and the memories she will forever have of Julia, the talented and dedicated artist, pouring over her work in the studio.
“My heart is heavy, so heavy. I will never forget opening the door of the painting studio every morning this past summer term to be greeted by Julia’s merry and quiet smile. I am so grateful for the privilege of knowing her. She was a fantastic artist and a good person. A bright and steady light, never self-aggrandizing, thoughtful, kind, and considerate.”
Though Julia was a skilled artist, with a natural flare for style, her true passion was fashion design and she hoped to pursue a career as a stylist.
While even those who did not know Julia on a personal level struggle to cope with her parting, the tragedy is even more difficult for her friends and family to comprehend. Sarah Robinson (‘15), who grew up with Julia in their hometown of Newton, Massachusetts, felt devastated by the loss of her childhood friend. She wanted to channel her feelings by creating a book of insights from fellow friends and classmates for the Packer family.
Robinson thought she would only be able to find a few pages worth of quotations to present to Julia’s family, but she was “blown away” by the response volume. There was a wide range of contributors. Some messages came from Julia’s close friends from Maimonides high school; her seminary in Israel, Midreshet Emunah V’Omanut; Stern and her volleyball team; while some letters came from acquaintances and even people who had never met her. People shared stories about friendship, laughter, and even love. And the most common theme of all: her glowing, wide-toothed smile.
Together with Corrine Malachi (‘16), the two compiled all of the Facebook posts and thoughts friends shared after Julia’s passing. Filled with pictures of the bright-eyed and beautiful Julia with her friends, Robinson read some passages of the book aloud at the Packer family shiva house.
Robinson reflected upon the experience reading and delivering the book to the Packer family. “Reading and then organizing the anecdotes was more emotionally difficult than I expected. Of course I knew she was beloved, but reading through all of them just showed me that we had lost such a special student and friend. Going to a shiva house is always hard, but it was especially hard this time; no one ever wants to pay a shiva call for their childhood friend and mourn for the life that could have been.”
When Robinson entered the shiva house and began reading the book to the Packer family, she felt the powerful comfort that the sentimental words had on the family.
“Usually at a shiva house, you go expecting to do all the listening,” Robinson said. “But when they saw the binder and asked about it, now I was doing the talking! Words cannot describe how touched they looked. It was in that moment that I realized that I came seeking to strengthen them, but they strengthened me.”
Childhood friend, Rachel Weinberg (‘15) expressed her shock and sorrow the morning she heard the news of Julia’s passing. “Just like so many others, I have spent a lot of today thinking about Julia and her family. Julia continued to be filled with that same sweetness and warmth throughout the years I have known her. Whenever we bumped into each other in the halls of Stern or in our dorm, she always had a smile on her face and made time to catch up. I always left her with a smile on my face. Today there are no answers or clarity. Today, the world has become a darker place.”
Julia’s memory lives on through the legacy of kindness and compassion that she always exhibited and now leaves behind. As stated by a student who entered a personal passage in the bound book of insights, “Her warmth and open-hearted personality made her adored by all…May her memory be an inspiration for us all to be positive role models within the world as she was, and help us treat each other with more compassion, appreciation, and kindness.”