By Zohar Ben Simon, Science and Technology Editor and Website Manager
Over the past 20 years, technology has advanced tremendously. One of the main focuses of the digital age is to bring people closer together; phones and computers were made with the goal of making it easier for people to contact each other. However, this is an optimistic view of the new lifestyle that has emerged from these technologies. The convenience of texts, calls and emails have done the opposite of what they intended, making us incapable of forming meaningful connections with others.
Because of technology’s ability to make us feel close to anyone, we have a superficial view of intimacy. People upload every part of their lives onto social media. On one hand, seeing what my friend is up to on any given day is convenient, and it makes me feel close to them. But is there any substance to what I am being shown? Seeing a carefully curated version of someone’s life is not enough, and it can block me from seeing what is truly going on. Social media gives us an illusion of closeness. Liking someone’s post feels like actively communicating and bonding with them, but it is not; it is passive and impersonal. However, since we feel like we are part of their lives through the videos and pictures they post, we don’t feel the need to make that extra effort.
The convenience of digital communication makes conversations feel optional. You get a text or a call, and there is no urgency to respond because it’s so easy to just “get back to them later.” Though this seems trivial, over time it weakens friendships, sometimes beyond the point of no return. The lack of effort online slowly translates to real life, and it feels like so few people are willing to truly put in effort to sustain relationships today. Through a screen, we can’t see how someone is truly feeling. We assume through their words, but body language and facial expressions play such a large role in understanding others. We miss the nuances that we would catch in in-person conversation, and this is when misunderstandings arise. When effort isn’t put in to fix them, friendships crumble.
The culture that the digital age has created values quantity over quality. People want to show the world that they have an abundance of friends, but why does that matter? Having dozens of friends with no substance to the relationships is pointless, and this outside pressure to have a wide social circle leads people to feel lonely and isolated, even when they are surrounded by people. Nothing ever feels like it is enough, because someone always is perceived to have more than you.
The digital age has forced people into constant competition, even with their closest friends. The fear of showing you care is widespread, and leads to guarded friendships where no one is willing to open up. This culture is draining and overwhelming. Whether because people are scared of getting “slow replies” from their friends or getting “ghosted” by someone they like, the distress of someone not returning the energy one puts into a relationship overpowers the desire for a deep connection. Slowly, our online world has become a contest of who can care the least. If you force yourself not to care, and the relationship eventually falls apart, you don’t feel hurt and can keep your ego intact.
There is a false sense of togetherness when people are online; they are “surrounded” by others but in reality are alone. This illusion makes us comfortable enough to remain complacent and miserable, but not secure enough to put in the effort to meet new people or foster the relationships we already have.
Technology is not the problem, our dependency on it is. We are too reliant on our devices, and it shows. Our generation too often makes personal comfort a priority, but this takes away from the feeling of community. The rise of technology has decreased our desire to be selfless and to stretch beyond ourselves, but if we break out of this bubble, we will be able to form true and meaningful connections.
Photo Credit: Courtesy of Zohar Ben Simon