College or Community: Will Stern Ever be the In-Towners’ Home Away From Home?

By: Hadar Katsman  |  October 23, 2024
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By Hadar Katsman, Staff Writer

I love Thursdays, or at least I used to. Before I came to college I would anticipate each Thursday because it meant an end to a tedious week of classes. I could finally relax with no obligation to complete my impending homework. As one of YU’s many out-of-towners, however, I’ve grown to dread Thursdays. Suitcases line the lobbies of the 245 Lexington Avenue school building and the Caf is empty, save for a few stragglers. Classes are over, night falls, and Brookdale becomes quieter than ever.

At Stern, every Thursday there is a rushed feeling in the air. While everyone may be ready to complete their last day of class, the atmosphere in the halls goes beyond that. There is this palpable energy of “get out, get out, get out” generating off the in-towners. I can sense their need to get home as soon as possible, and I get the feeling that YU is only a vibrant community from Monday to Wednesday.

As much as I don’t want to, because having fewer girls on campus makes Shabbos more intimate  and homey, I have to spill the most underrated secret of YU: Shabbos at Stern is so much fun.

I don’t think many of our students know how much Shabbos on the Beren campus offers. Personally, as long as I have beautiful davening and zemiros, some divrei Torah, delicious food, and some chill-time with friends, then I have all I need for an uplifting Shabbos. Fortunately, the Beren campus Shabbos programming provides all of this for $25 (a cost that is only required if you want to pay for the YU meals).

Even just staying on campus with one or two friends is all you need to have an uplifting Shabbos experience. After a few weekends, you become a part of the chevra (friend group) that stays in for Shabbos frequently and it’s a great opportunity to further your connections, both with other Stern students and with the on-campus staff, the Fine and Schonbrun campus couples. Formative experiences like these are great opportunities to meet new people and become a part of the larger YU community. 

If you are an in-towner, I strongly encourage you to spend at least one Shabbos on the Beren campus. Many people have asked me, “Can you blame in-towners for wanting to go home?” No, I understand where they are coming from. If you had the opportunity to go home for Shabbos, why wouldn’t you? I personally would love to see my friends from home and chat with my mom while we cook for Shabbos, but right now I don’t have that opportunity. While I completely understand that you may want to be with your family, have home-cooked meals, and sleep in your own bed, I sincerely believe you will not regret trying out spending a Shabbos at Stern, even for just one Shabbos.

Everyone can admit that YU pushes, maybe more than we’d like, to make us feel like a community. But as cringy as it sounds, it’s true. YU is not just a college. It is also a community that most of us thankfully feel a part of soon after we arrive. The question is: are we willing to put in the effort to further strengthen that community? We should take advantage of the environment that surrounds us; we, as students of YU, have a responsibility to keep this community thriving. Whether one does that best through creating inclusive clubs, going to shiurim, or sitting with new people at lunch, we all play a part. I would strongly encourage Shabbos to become an area where you strengthen our student body’s unity.

As a first year out-of-towner at YU, I will be living on campus for six to seven days a week for the next three years of my life. I can use my best judgment to assume that the majority of in-towners are only here for four days a week max. How sad would it be if the place you’re spending half of your week at feels like being cooped up in prison for the next three years? If you are going to be living here anyways, you might as well make the best out of it.

I will admit there is one downside to staying in for Shabbos: having to walk up those torturous stairwells in Brookdale to get to your dorm room. But when you’re schlepping up the stairs, laughing with your friends, with both your heart and stomach full, you realize that Stern can be your home away from home, only if you are willing to let it be.

Photo Caption: Suitcases in the 245 Lexington Avenue Building lobby

Photo Credit: Aliza Billet 

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