By Daniella Weiss, Staff Writer
As Elul passes faster than we realize and Rosh Hashanah rapidly approaches, it is important that we try to create positive changes in our lives. Sometimes, the daunting task of teshuva can feel overwhelming. We feel that if we can’t become different people and transform ourselves during the month preceding Rosh Hashanah, we might as well not do anything at all. If the end to the process of teshuva is not within sight, how can we even start and where can we start from?
It is important to recognize that these thoughts are the yetzer hara (the evil inclination) creeping into our minds as it actively tries to work against our efforts to achieve a closer relationship with our Creator and live life as our best selves. The truth is, the yetzer hara tries to encourage us not to make small changes in our daily lives by convincing us that something so insignificant won’t make a meaningful impact.
Small decisions make a huge impact over time. A change in one’s lifestyle that may appear insignificant today can lead to a transformed version of oneself in the future with a little help from the gift of time. Instead of trying to reshape ourselves entirely and failing in despair, we need to focus on small, attainable changes that we can make from now until Rosh Hashanah. One step in the right direction can lead to another and before we know it we are further along the path to becoming the person we have always wanted to be.
To illustrate this concept, I would like to share a personal story. There was a single lady at the age of 38 who had been working in the U.S. Pentagon for over a decade. When her father unexpectedly passed, she decided that although she was excelling professionally, she wanted to get married and have a child. She hadn’t been raised religious, but she was proud of her Jewish identity and wanted to marry a Jewish man. So, she decided to attend a Jewish dating event. She met a Jewish man and they began to date. Unfortunately, she realized that according to the Beit Din (Jewish court), although her father was Jewish, her mother had converted questionably. This left her Jewish status in jeopardy. She was left to decide whether to go through with the process of Orthodox conversion and marry the Jewish man she was dating, or to refrain from such a laborious trek.
She chose the former and spent a year studying for her conversion. The rabbi of the shul reached out to my parents, asking them to host her for Shabbos so she could experience the magic of Shabbos at a Jewish home. She needed someone to learn with her to prepare her for her conversion test, so my father recommended that I help her study the basics that she needed to know.
By true divine providence, in our last session, before she went to the Beit Din for her final questioning, I mentioned to her the topics of borer (the prohibition of separating on Shabbat) as well as kli shlishi (the third vessel for bishul, that I thought would be important to know and that was exactly what was asked on the test. She passed the test and the date was set for her conversion. Soon after, she married the Jewish man she had been dating. A couple weeks ago, at the age of 40, she had a baby girl who she named for her father. She achieved her dream of marrying and having a child. Being a part of assisting this woman in having her dream come true throughout this process was extremely meaningful, not just for her but for me as well. Her journey began with one step in the right direction, one decision to become more invested in her Judaism, and deciding to marry someone Jewish. This led to her conversion,marriage, and the rest is history.
Pirkei Avos says two encouraging statements that remain pertinent to this idea. “Lo alecha hamlacha ligmor v’lo atah ben chorin l’hivatel mimena – It is not on you to complete the work but you are not free to refrain from it” (Avos 2:16). and “Mitzvah goreres mitzvah – one good deed leads to another” (Avos 4:2). We don’t have to transform ourselves completely this month, nor is that attainable. We must take one step in the right direction. For some, this may mean taking on lighting Shabbat candles, for another it may mean starting to learn one page of mussar each day. For others it may mean messaging the friend they have not seen in a while to meet for dinner, for another it may mean coming five minutes early for tefillah. These small changes compound and lead to exponential growth in our own lives. We too can take steps in the right direction. If we do, then Hashem will see through our small changes and continue to lead us in the direction that we have always wanted to go in, because “in the direction we wish to go, He will lead us” (Makkot 10b).
Photo Caption: Jews around the world blow the shofar as Rosh Hashanah approaches
Photo Credit: Unsplash