A Letter from the Room’s Grinch

By: Tania Bohbot  |  December 20, 2018

By Tania Bohbot

Dear Roomie,

Living with you has been like the trial run for being with my bashert. Now, I’m hoping that that will be just as great and that I’ll be able to bear it. You’ve seen me at my best and you’ve seen me at my worst. From midnight gossip to tear-stains and nutella during stress-induced outbursts. From playing games and movie nights to holding back my hair as I upchuck after going wild at a Simchat Torah affair. You are always there for support and to help me study. Despite not knowing the subject, you are my test-time buddy. You’re a sister like no other even through this wretched rhyme. What can I say, we’ve had quite the kosher time.

It’s only halfway through year one, but I hope we’ll be friends even after graduation comes. That’s the reason why I bite my tongue. But the truth is, there is some bad that has yet to be sung. We’re roommates, being passive-aggressive is for people you don’t care about, for people you wish would just bail out. That’s why I’ve got to be blunt and hope you don’t respond with a cold front. I hope you don’t resent me, but I think we’re close enough to not just let it be.  

We don’t just share a room, we don’t just share a heater, we don’t just share our midterm stress, but that pesky bathroom too. Now, we’ve all got hair, it’s natural, but that drain should not have it, ew. After you’re done, just grab it and throw it in the trash, no questions must be asked. Our cleaning schedule has been disrespected. Our once white floor and toilet seat…have obviously been neglected. We’ve gotta talk about cleaning supplies, I can’t be the only one. That roll seems to be getting thin, don’t make me always do the paper run. And once or twice, it makes me frown but I’ve seen the trip lever hasn’t been pulled down. The lack of cleaning makes me feel quite blue. But brooms exist and so does a shower cleaner, like I said I love you.

Now let’s be real, I’m not the cleanest, my shoes have been quite scattered. I’m loud in the morning, but I’m really trying to grow and be well-mannered. I’ve got my faults and so do you, so let’s be calm and work this through. It’s winter time, can we please keep on the heater on a little longer? With finals coming, our light-switch difference has become quite the monster. Headphones exist, and water doesn’t drown out the music for me when you shower. It’s midnight and your bathtime concert makes me feel quite sour. We’ve got good vibes and I hope they’re here to stay. But those veggies have been in the fridge since we had break for the Jewish holidays.

What can I say, this has become quite tiring. I’m not used to biting my tongue, and it’s hard to keep smiling. There’s nothing I find worse than no communication. Not even the close proximity of our bed stations. We share this room with all its ups and downs. We share these broken outlets, there’s only one or two around. Let’s all share and make it fair. Oh wait, did I bring up the issue of space in this difficult affair? I love your jacket, but why is it on my bed? I love that top, it looks just like the one I bought. It’s not just your space so come on, let’s get on the same page.

It’s almost done and time to put this to a rest. The week is over, let’s have a Shabbat shalom as its best. Oh wait, we don’t all keep Shabbos entirely. You don’t touch the lights or watch any TV. I’m sorry for turning off that light without a moment’s thought. Let’s sit down and talk about it. I messed up, let me admit it. Now it’s time for us to have some fun and let this message end its little run.

This letter is over, but I hope it doesn’t lead to an awful turnover. Hope there’s only respect and not a moment of neglect.

If you know, you know,