Top Ten Signs You Attend an All-Women’s College:
1. You find yourself gazing wistfully at the little stick man on the men’s bathroom plaque.
2. You have to descend seven flights of stairs to find the men’s bathroom plaque.
3. You find yourself winking at the janitor before complimenting his brand of mop. The sponge is soooo absorbent.
4. He says he likes your mop, too. You tell him it’s your hair.
5. R-O-Y-G-B-I-V has become an acronym for the colors of your outfit on a given day. Hey, it’s not easy to color coordinate Naomi Birnbaum’s 1997 Bat Mitzvah slacks with your brother’s MTA basketball pullover.
6. Your feet and lower calves take the shape of an UGG boot even when you’re not wearing them.
7. It often feels like a mosquito got caught in your eardrum. Then you realize your roommate just came back from her date, and you’re on jury duty.
8. Your hormones flare up every night…after a chicken dinner. Baked, not fried.
9. You report a burglary when you find the toilet seat up, before your friend assures you she was just cleaning.
10. Fliers for the annual Super Bowl night viewing of The Notebook are plastered to every hallway bulletin board. They’re serving grass-root beer.