You may have wondered: is having the last name “Stern” at Stern College an advantage, a nuisance, or just plain funny? If you’re one of the lucky ones to be blessed (or cursed?) with this phenomenon, you may find yourself wandering the Beren campus feeling disoriented and confused: why is everyone wearing sweatshirts with my name on it? Why do I hear people talking about me all day long? Who are the original Sterns of Stern College? These are just a few of the questions that people with the last name Stern at Stern College ask themselves. And since those around the chosen ones are still left wondering if the double-name is indeed a blessing or a curse, I sat down with Talia Stern to shed some light on the true life of someone with the last name Stern at Stern.
You may have wondered: is having the last name “Stern” at Stern College an advantage, a nuisance, or just plain funny? If you’re one of the lucky ones to be blessed (or cursed?) with this phenomenon, you may find yourself wandering the Beren campus feeling disoriented and confused: why is everyone wearing sweatshirts with my name on it? Why do I hear people talking about me all day long? Who are the original Sterns of Stern College? These are just a few of the questions that people with the last name Stern at Stern College ask themselves. And since those around the chosen ones are still left wondering if the double-name is indeed a blessing or a curse, I sat down with Talia Stern to shed some light on the true life of someone with the last name Stern at Stern.Observer: Hi, Talia. What would you say your biggest challenge is about having the last name Stern at Stern?
Talia Stern: Hi, Talia. First, I can’t thank you enough for giving me the time to talk about my experience here as a Stern student (in more ways than one). I feel that it is a taboo topic that doesn’t get discussed nearly enough in our circles, but it’s time that people really start thinking about this issue. I would say that the hardest part is meeting new people–I’ve just grown to expect them to say, “Your last name is Stern and you go to Stern?!” I try to make them feel good, so I usually laugh. But let me assure you, I’ve heard that joke about 1,000 times before. (If you’ve ever made that joke to me and I laughed politely, I’m sorry you have to find out like this.) Also, booking shuttles can be a little bit tricky. Here’s an actual conversation I had once with security:
“Hi, I’d like to book a shuttle tonight for 7:30.”
“Alright—what’s your last name?”
“Stern”
“What’s your last name?”
“…Stern”
“No, I need your last name!”
“My last name is Stern!”
O: And how did that make you feel?
TS: Stern. I felt stern.
O: Nice one! But seriously, are you doing anything to raise awareness about this highly sensitive issue around campus?
TS: This semester, I’ve actually just started the Stern@Stern club here on Beren Campus. It’s a new initiative that spreads awareness on this situation. I have an idea for a sort of empathy project where the entire student body takes on the last name “Stern” for one day, just to experience what it’s like. As of now, I’m the only member of the club and so the weekly meetings are pretty quiet, but I’m getting some positive vibes. There’s a kid with the last name “Yeshiva” on the uptown campus that keeps asking me to join his club, and so I’m considering expanding Stern@Stern to both campuses.
O: Wow, that sounds excellent. Alright, so sometimes things can be tough, I see. But are there any positive aspects to having the last name Stern at Stern?
TS: Actually, one of the main reasons I chose to go to Stern was to save myself the trouble of labeling my clothes. I also love to tell people that I’m related to the Sterns of Stern College. I watch people’s eyes light up, and I even get a little more respect. It’s a good deal. Also, I’ve got a sweatshirt with the word STERN sprawled across the back, so usually I tell people I’m on the volleyball/basketball/softball team and that it’s part of my uniform. So, in summary, a lot of people at school think I’m the great-granddaughter of our school’s founder and that I’m a great athlete. You could say I’ve found a way to make my situation work in my favor.
O: What solutions do you have for someone at Stern who might be struggling like yourself with a competing last name?
TS: The way I see it, we have five ways to escape this reality:
a. Find a new donor and change the name of the school
b. Legally change our last name
c. Make up a last name
d. Get married and change our name
e. Get married and not change our name but just use our husband’s name for avoiding “Stern’s in Stern?!” situations
…But any and all other suggestions are welcome.
O: Anything else you’d like to say before we wrap up this interview?
TS: To everyone else out there with the last name Stern: Please come find me and consider joining the club. So far at my time at Stern, I’ve only met one other person with the last name Stern, but there must be more. I KNOW YOU’RE OUT THERE!
And to everyone out there without the last name Stern: please consider the next time you want to make a “Stern at Stern” joke. And when we lie to you and tell you we’re related to the Stern family, please still be our friend out of your own free will, and not because you just found out we can’t let you in on some mysterious family perks.