At a large gathering this summer, I got into a conversation with a young man about sexism. When I said that I thought sexism was so institutionalized, he expressed surprise and disbelief, saying he always viewed it as more of an unfortunate anomaly, to which I responded, “That’s because you’re male.” After the conversation ended, one of the other women leaned across our table and asked with a slightly concerned smile and in the sort of tone one might use with an overwrought four-year-old, said, “Masha, do you think there is a war on women?”
I was surprised by the question. No matter how you phrase it, I think sexism still exists in many places. And because it does, I see the need for feminism.
Yet I am continuously confused by how many religious women feel uncomfortable identifying themselves as feminists. They seem to think that the label flies in the face of Orthodoxy, Halakhah, and tradition. Furthermore, some believe it is immodest or incorrect for them to speak out against sexism. In truth, feminism is neither immodest nor a violation of Judaism.
Sexism clearly does still exist–just ask any woman who has ever been catcalled on the street, patronized simply because of her gender or has had to work doubly hard as any man to achieve the same goal. In her book Men Explain Things To Me, author Rebecca Solnit recounts an experience at a party in which a man explained the plot of her own book to her–which he clearly hadn’t read, despite the fact that she tried several times to tell him she was the author.
During my summer internship as I wrapped up an interview, my subject asked if I was in college. When I affirmed this, he asked with a smile that indicated he thought he was being funny if I was studying for an MRS degree. His implication that I chose to attend college simply as a means of snaring an eligible bachelor made me feel devalued; viewed, not as a whole, autonomous person with a mind I seek to expand and grow, but as merely someone’s future wife. This is not to say that I view marriage and having a family as unimportant. On the contrary, for me, both are a vital part of living a full and wonderful existence. However, I will also have an identity outside of being someone’s wife or mother.
Every woman is entitled to personal fulfillment, as seen in Adam’s naming of his wife, Chava. She is called both “the mother of all life” and “the woman.” She is the source of all life while still being her own person, with all of her own thoughts, needs, opinions, emotions, and capabilities–creating and maintaining a sense of self.
To me, feminism means respecting the divinity and humanity in all people, regardless of gender. Feminism and halakhah are, to me, a natural pairing. The Hebrew Bible speaks of many strong, outspoken, even trailblazing women. Miriam the Prophetess, brave enough to rebuke Pharaoh at the tender age of five; Yael, who assassinated the Philistine general Sisera, ensuring a Jewish victory; Deborah the Judge, who ruled in an era renowned for lawlessness. One will not find any “Yes, dear” meek obedience. Rather, one finds strong women with their own voices and minds.
The biblical matriarchs were equal partners with the patriarchs–not waiting for some outside person to tell them they were powerful, but striking out to take positions they felt were faithful to God’s will. Exempli gratia: Rebecca overrode the decision of her husband Isaac, and sent Jacob in subterfuge, to take the birthright instead of Esau.
A friend recently shared with me her worry of expressing her convictions certain topics because she fears others will view her as less religious than girls who may be quieter or less opinionated. In this day and age, why should any of us feel the need to prove that we are not irreligious for having a brain and an opinion?
So ladies, there should be no need to fear the moniker “feminist.” As someone who has been called that many times, often in exasperated and even accusatory tones, I wear the label with pride. We should not be limited in what we choose to do because of our gender. Women should not hesitate to express opinions, ideas, or arguments. We should not fear that we are being inappropriate or immodest for choosing to speak out when we feel passionately about something. We are, in fact, following and continuing in the rich tradition of the righteous women who came before us.