Claire Shipman held an audience under a confident spell as she spoke about her newest book, The Confidence Code: The Science and Art of Self-Assurance—What women should know. Co-written with Katty Kay, the book includes various interviews, studies, and experiments that the authors have gathered in one informative source that aims to explain the reasons behind women’s lack of confidence and what they can do to gain more. The talk was held at the Cardozo School of Law and was sponsored by both the Dr. Marcia Robbins-Wilf Scholar-in-Residence Program of Stern College for Women and the Cardozo Leadership Association for Women.
Shipman began with her favorite definition of the word “confidence.” Quoting a Buddhist scholar that she met while writing The Confidence Code, Shipman said that “Confidence is energy; the ability to move towards something without holding back.” She said that in her research for her book she and Kay qualified three major points about confidence. The first: There is a shortage of women’s confidence in the workplace compared to men’s; second, it is easy to make lasting changes to improve one’s confidence; and lastly, authenticity is key component in confidence.
Quoting a study from her previous book Womenomics: Work Less, Achieve More, Live Better (HarperBusiness, 2009), Shipman presented a shocking statistic regarding women job applicants: women will apply to jobs when they feel that they are 100% qualified versus male applicants who would apply to the same job when they feel they are 60% qualified. Here, Shipman discussed how confidence often trumps competence. Women have no problem thinking of great ideas, she explains. It is in the execution of these great ideas that they fall short.
What causes women to lack confidence? Shipman said that genetics are partially to blame. Though there is no one specific ‘confidence gene,’ there is a group of genes that is responsible for our confidence qualities. In fact, Shipman’s research has found that 25% – 50% of confidence genes are inherited. That being said, one has the ability to test for the ‘strong’ confidence genes.
Shipman shared with the crowd that she actually has “bad” confidence genes. How, then, can she have the confidence to author two highly successful books, be a successful journalist at ABC world news, and speak to a crowd of nearly 200 men and women about a topic for which she supposedly does ‘not have the genes?’
The answer is surprisingly simple: neuroplasticity. The idea behind this fast growing neuroscience field is that humans have the ability to change certain ways their brain functions specifically regarding how we think and do things, all with fairly simple exercises. Shipman said that women’s brains biologically work differently than men’s in areas that affect our confidence. The differences are specifically in the areas of the brain that deal with risk taking. Taking risks requires major confidence which is why girls and women alike have difficulty doing so.
This “risk aversion” as Shipman calls it, stems partly from nature and nurture. Women’s prefrontal cortex, the area of the brain that deals with logic, is often larger than men’s. The fact that this area is larger in women’s brains is where the idea that women excel at multi-tasking comes from. This is also the source of the idea of “Analysis Paralysis.” This term, another one coined by Shipman, is where a woman partakes in obsessive thinking—often leading to ‘over thinking.’ These rumination cycles–“Analysis”—often causes women to lack the confidence to make a decision or perform a certain action (known as “Paralysis”). Enter neuroplasticity.
To stop this detrimental and anxiety-inducing cyclic thinking, Shipman suggests changing gears and thinking of positive or neutral situations. For example, a student may find herself in a state of “Analysis Paralysis” in which her professor has not replied to an important email she sent several days prior. The student may begin to think the professor did not receive the email; or the professor somehow was offended by their seemingly innocuous question about an essay; perhaps the professor was so upset that they were speaking to the dean about having you kicked out of school.
As humorous as it may sound, many women find themselves in this state on a daily basis in both school and work. Shipman suggests thinking of alternate explanations: the professor received many emails, perhaps he/she is behind in his/her responses; maybe there was a family emergency; perhaps the professor would rather answer the question in person than in email. Research has shown that alternative explanations do not have to be reasonable to be successful. This means that “perhaps my professor has quit teaching and joined the circus and there is no wifi in the circus tent” would be perfectly acceptable way to stay calm.
The nurture aspect in this topic comes in to play in formal education. In school, girls often excel in listening to directions, following said directions, coloring in the lines, etc. These ‘safe’ activities that girls excel at are often actions that they are praised for by their teachers. The nurtured behavior then manifests itself into perfectionists who, by definition, are less likely to take risks. Shipman explains that women need to start taking risks to gain confidence. She went on to say that women need to cultivate a willingness to take risks and take the failures in stride. She reminded the audience that, “Confidence comes by doing something. It’s not just a mindset.” This means that confidence has to be created through doing something whether that occurs via failure or mastery.
She recommends habituating small risk taking and encourages women to “trust your gut.” Women who are perfectionists and triple check their facts are in reality not confident with their work; they tend to hone their perfection skills to an anxiety filled art form. Women posses the competence and yet they lack the confidence to turn their competence to action. A self proclaimed perfectionist, Shipman admitted that taking small risks more often is something she struggles with though she does credit her perfectionist ways to be useful in her job when she prepares to interview a dignitary, for example.
Shipman ended her speech with one final message: “True confidence is powerful.” Her book shows women just how powerful they are capable of becoming and how confidence is attainable. Though many women were motivated by her speech, some felt her admittance that she and other powerfully successful women still experience moments of doubt to be somewhat of a sobering thought; the question of “does this ever go away?” peppered many conversations during the dessert reception following Shipman’s presentation (though most found her presentation impressive and informative).