Last Wednesday started out like every other Wednesday at Stern College for Women. The school building doors opened no earlier than 8 AM on the dot, and the cafeteria gates were unlocked exactly one half hour later. Security opened its telephone line at precisely 11:45 AM to a mad rush of phone calls booking shuttles uptown. The usual swarm of girls walking between the school buildings was ongoing, as always. However, one action changed the course of the day and turned it into the mayhem from which Stern students and faculty members are still recovering. And that was the revelation of the fish entrée in the 215 Lexington Cafeteria.
While some Stern students are not particularly fond of the hot lunch options offered daily in the cafeteria, most will agree that Thursdays, otherwise known as “Teriyaki Salmon days,” are a favorite. Some students, like Rachel Rolnick (SCW ’16), even have a set alarm on their phones for Thursday mornings, so that they can begin building their excitement for lunchtime early in the day. Teriyaki Salmon is served on Thursdays, and Thursdays only. Some may be fooled, for other variations of salmon are offered on Mondays periodically. But true Teriyaki Salmon devotees know that the real good stuff is a once a week, a pre-Erev Shabbat treat.
That is why this past Wednesday, no one knew how to respond when the first tray of piping hot Teriyaki Salmon was brought out and placed in the cafeteria next to the broccoli. Rebecca Saragossi (SCW ’16) was one of the first students to catch a glimpse of the unusually scheduled entrée. “I could not believe my eyes,” she exclaimed. “I had to do a double take!”
Girls quickly got off the sushi salad line to hurry over to the salmon, and full out chaos ensued. There was pushing and fighting for use of the spatula. Some say it was reminiscent of Black Friday sales. Cafeteria workers, who are usually only positioned to handle the chaos of Salmon day on Thursdays, were overwhelmed and had trouble controlling the swarming fish fans. Many girls and workers were startled by the commotion, and some even needed to send their clothing to the dry cleaners due to Teriyaki sauce getting splattered amidst the ruckus.
However, the chaos only began in the cafeteria, and quickly permeated every aspect of school life that fateful day. Once girls prevailed in their fight for a serving of salmon, using energy usually only reserved for Thursdays, many left the cafeteria in such a post Teriyaki Salmon daze that they forgot that it was in fact only Wednesday. This led multiple students to proceed in going about their Thursday schedules rather than attending their Wednesday classes. Some teachers claim they did not even have one student show up to their classroom. Many girls from the Five Towns and New Jersey who go home via public transportation on Thursday afternoons post- Teriyaki Salmon actually went all the way home until they realized their mix- up. Girls missed quizzes and forgot to hand in homework assignments, causing their classes to fall behind the scheduled syllabus. Needless to say, the kitchen will not be serving Teriyaki Salmon on a non- Thursday for a long time.