- The “Phone Talker”: The girl loudly gabbing away on her phone to her boyfriend, BFF, fiancé, blah blah blah. Yes, we are all dying to hear about your trip to J. Crew yesterday. Obviously we all know about the sale and are so proud of the amount of times you went to the gym this week.
- The “Fourth Floor Exiter”: The girl that crams all the way into the elevator and gets off on the fourth floor, two flights up. As she leaves, you can literally feel everyone in the elevator judging her for not taking the stairs.
- The “Too Close for Comfort Girl”: The girl who is smushed up against you with absolutely no regard for personal space. Well, because anything seems to fly in the Stern elevator. You can feel her breathing and it’s so uncomfortable, you just want to drop to the floor. But you can’t because someone else is on your toes.
- The “Oh I can just squeeze In”: That girl who gets in the elevator when it’s already stuffed to the gills. We’re talking maximum capacity. The worst is when her bag gets in the way of the door closing. The doors decide whether they should close on her or not. If this type’s tendencies seem to overlap with “Fourth Flour Exiter”— she should be expelled.
- The “Too Friendly” girl: “So how’s everyone doing today?!” We’re all wonderful. Well, now that you mention it, we are all crammed into this elevator! Thank you much for asking!
- The “Cross Elevator Conversationers”: You’re waiting for the elevator with a friend, chatting away. The elevator comes; everyone floods in. You and your friend are on opposite ends of the elevator now. But does that stop you from finishing your little chit-chat? Nope!
- The “Awkward Male Teacher”: The inevitable. He’s shoved into a corner, probably silently praying for his life and pretending its not as awkward as everyone knows it is.
Hmmm… Maybe you should just take the stairs.