Tuesday, February 15, 2014, 1:15PM. It looked to be just your ordinary club hour at Stern College. Students streamed out of class and raced into the caf, grabbing salads and sushi, screaming and jesting for places in line. The steady roar of conversation in the room grew louder as more and more students filed in, until, suddenly, the room went silent.
One Stern girl (who preferred not to be named) with a long sleeved, high collared shirt, not wearing pants, as per the dress code, was standing up on a chair. “We’ve had enough,” she hollered. “Enough of this disrespect, this kefirah. For your rebiim! For our Torah! Girls, wearing pants to class! I cannot believe their audacity! It may not last any longer! Join me!” And with that, she sprinted towards the elevator.
And so began the inaugural no-pants-elevator ride at Stern. Modeled after the annual no-pants-subway ride, which is sponsored by Improv Everywhere, this elevator ride had a slightly more political message, and was officially backed by Tznius Everywhere.
Girls, screaming in protest, and of course not wearing pants, crowded into the three
Stanton Hall elevators. Whereas before, the fashion competition had centered around whether your purse was Juicy or Channel, now, if you weren’t wearing Victoria’s secret underwear, everyone knew. The Target girls were shunned, and if you had purchased your underwear at CVS, even the Target girls were looking down on you.
The ride continued, up and down the floors, undisturbed. The caf Rabbis pretended not to notice (but secretly waited for the elevators to return to the basement). Meanwhile, Rabbis still shoved their way into the elevator, using their kippot as blindfolds. As the elevator stopped on each floor, girls exclaimed, “Oh my Hashem! I haven’t seen such a protest against our current standards since I glimpsed a woman laying tefillin!”
Following the ride, Dean Orlian told The Observer, “I am so proud of these Stern women. I’ve been sending out those emails reminding students that we have a dress code here for years, and no one seemed to be reading them. Now, all of our tznius problems are solved. People have realized, that there is, in fact, a dress code.”
One Bible teacher remarked, “What avodas Hashem! If they do this wherever they go, I’m sure they’ll find shidduchim. I sense many single-sex pre-class dance parties in the future!”
Yet somehow, the next day at school, the pants had returned in earnest. Instead of Dean Orlian, this time the email came from Mrs. Schechter, with the subject line: “you need a tznius check!” The email read:
“YOU ARE REQUIRED TO HAVE A TZNIUS CHECK BEFORE YOU CAN GRADUATE. NOW IS THE TIME TO HAVE THAT CHECK. DON’T WAIT UNTIL YOUR LAST SEMESTER WHEN IT IS TOO LATE.”
The implications weren’t stated, but Stern girls familiar with the recent RIETS controversy knew very well what “too late” meant. It was turning into a “Your pants or your diploma” situation, very quickly.
But the leggings continued to populate the second and third floors of Sy Syms, while student-athletes lounged in their sweatpants in the 245 lobby.
So, was this venture truly effective? It’s still hard to tell. But get ready to ride. Next year’s no-pants-elevator ride is in the works, a confidential source told the Observer.