During my first year and a half in Stern College, I proudly commuted from Brooklyn every day. I had heard the stereotypes about commuting students – that they are not as involved in campus life, that they simply take their classes and then leave, and that they remain somehow separate from the rest of the Stern community. I set out to defy that stereotype. In my first semester, I got involved in the Stern College Dramatics Society (SCDS) as the props master for their production of Pirates of Penzance. I also began writing for the Observer, volunteering at the YU Museum, and participating as a board member of a club. I attended a broad variety of events, staying on campus later in the evenings, and even stayed in for Shabbat occasionally.
The Observer published an article about commuting students in February 2011 and interviewed me as an example of a student who commutes and yet is highly involved on campus. It was something I was rather proud of, giving back to the YU community and being involved despite not living on campus.
This pattern continued for three whole semesters, during which I continued to get involved in extracurricular activities that I enjoyed, even if they required great time commitments and necessitated late night train rides back home.
However, that did not last. In my third semester, it suddenly hit me that I was incredibly tired. I no longer had the energy for running back and forth and doing everything. I no longer even had the motivation to fulfill my basic responsibilities as a student. I was dragging my feet each morning and had lost my enthusiasm.
After some deliberation, I realized that the time had come for me to move into the dormitories and live on campus. It was not an easy decision to make, but after I came home at one in the morning too many times in one month, my mother said to me that I might as well live in Stern, as it would be safer than taking the train at a late hour.
And so, after three semesters of commuting, I found myself adjusting to life in the dorms. Granted, it was not that difficult to get used to, considering the fact that I had moved into 35th, which offers luxury apartments. I had all I could possibly want there.
Although I had previously spoken highly of the commuting lifestyle, living in the dorms opened me up to a whole new range of opportunities. I was able to develop closer friendships, stay late at play rehearsals without worrying about the late commute, participate in more events uptown (which before would have been an hour and a half commute from Brooklyn), and wake up later in the mornings and still be on time to class. Without the commute, I had more time in my day and was less tired by the end of it.
While my three semesters of commuting were rewarding and wonderful, at that point in my college experience I needed a break and needed to take it easy. Living in the dorms, therefore, was the right decision for me at the time.
And now, three semesters of commuting and three semesters of dorming later, I need to make a decision about where I will be living during my final year at Stern. To be honest, I am not entirely sure, but I am leaning heavily towards commuting again.
I know that many other students go through this decision process as well, either before coming to Stern or after a year or two here. I also know that I would have appreciated advice about the different options back when I was first starting college. That is why I am writing this article now – in the hopes that it might be helpful to students who are facing the same decision.
Dorming or commuting? It’s a loaded question. I do not think it’s necessary for a student to live in the dorms all three or four years. I also think that a student who commutes is still able to get involved in extracurricular activities in Stern and be an active participant of the community. However, dorming is a key part of one’s social life in Stern and can help a new student develop closer friendships in her first year at Stern. Dorming also makes it easier to be involved on campus.
In the end, I would recommend living in the dorms for at least one year. There are many good reasons for commuting, and it can save a lot of money for those who live a reasonably short distance from Stern and can live with their parents rent-free, but it is more than worth it to have the dorming experience for at least one year. If the cost of dorms is the main issue, Stern has many opportunities to get a job on campus or a loan in order to cover the costs (which is what I did – I have been working at the Writing Center for the past year and a half). Although dorming can be pricy, after having equal experience both dorming and commuting, I would definitely say that it is very much worth it for at least a year.